Last week, we reported that conservative “author” and self-proclaimed “woke” expert Bethany Mandel brain farted all over herself in a video she knew would go viral after being asked what the word “woke” means by a Black woman host who likely already knew exactly what it means but asked anyway because watching white people turn red in the face while tripping over their own tongues is just a whole lot of fun.
Apparently, Mandel’s miserable failure to demonstrate that she knows what TF she’s talking about prompted a discussion on the matter between hosts at the House of White Lies and Whiter Tears, aka Fox News. Well, it turns out the reason conservatives can’t accurately define the word is that the word actually doesn’t need to be defined. At least, that’s what The Five contributor (emphasis on “con”) Dana Perino would have us believe.
“One of the things about woke is, can you explain it to your mom?” Perino said. “Think about that. And I remember when President Trump was running, and this was before he won in 2016, he used to get standing ovations initially when he would say ‘political correctness is ruining our country.’ And everybody that was clapping knew exactly what he meant, but it’s sort of like the Supreme Court definition of pornography — you know it when you see it.”
OK, I’m going to stop this discount Laura Ingraham right there to point out that Great Value Megan Kelly is demonstrating how white conservatives really only have other white people in mind when they speak about general consensus. Because when she asks, “can you explain it to your mom?” she’s definitely not talking to Black people. We would have no issue whatsoever explaining the word to our parents, which we would never have to do because they’re already familiar with the word because—and I’m just going to go ahead and switch to all caps for dramatic effect—BLACK PEOPLE HAVE BEEN USING THE TERM FOR A VERY LONG F–KING TIME!!!!
“Stay woke” means “be aware of white supremacy.” It’s really that simple.
Secondly, is Bargain Basement Betsy DeVos really out here citing Donald Trump as someone people can universally understand? I mean, sure, the MAGA whisperers can probably make sense of Trump’s incoherent rambling because they all speak the same language of bigotry and idiocracy, but the rest of us have no idea what Trumple-weird-skin is babbling about at any given moment. (Also, I’m just going to point out that while pornography is a thing “you know when you see it,” it’s also a very easily definable term. Do these people even speak English?”
Anyway, please continue, Part City Meghan McCain. (I think I’m running out of blonde airheads to compare Perino to.)
“So the Democrats want to get you in an argument where you’re having to define woke-is as if the Webster’s dictionary is defining it, and it’s not what it is,” Perino continued. “It could be a feeling, it could be a sense, and I wonder if Republicans or conservatives are going to have to define it more.”
So, there you have it, folks. Woke just basically means whatever the hell white conservatives want it to mean. (Also, see Marjorie Taylor Greene’s white teary made-up definition for critical race theory, another thing right-wingers have waged war against despite their inability to define it. Just ask fellow Fox News host Tucker Carlson, who openly admitted he ‘never figured out’ what it is.” Oh sh-t—also, Dana Perino is just Kroger brand Marjorie Taylor Greene.)
Finally, I’m just going to point out that a member of the so-called party of “facts over feelings” just cited “woke” as a “feeling” that doesn’t need to be substantiated by facts, but whatever.
But since conservatives are currently crapping in their Klan-derwear trying to figure out how to define terms they’re already using wrong, I’ll leave them with a few more vocabulary words and phrases they should probably familiarize themselves with:
When Whitesplaining Goes Wrong: Author Of Anti-Woke Book Can’t Define ‘Woke’ When Asked
In Blocking Ron DeSantis-Backed ‘Stop WOKE Act,’ Florida Judge Compares Law To ‘Stranger Things’